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Vagina Aerodynamics

May 3, 2017
So I am curating a list of things that scare me
(cough kinda scared to write the list)
so that I can overcome all of my VERY real and scary fears,
that may or may not make me die.
A few years back I began this,
(been on a hiatus from it, kinda)
I went all the way to a different state, by myself,
to attend an adult summer drinking camp.
I hated it but told everyone else it was great cuz street cred, not really.
Everything was good until the drinks started to flow and the girl
who was kinda with me got super drunk, belligerent, handsy, vulgar…
basically, she was drunk Uncle Pete that you never take in public.
It was one of the most frustrating and mortifying experiences of my life.
I did gain some really important lessons things like….
Sleeping in a dirty bunk with bugs and mice crawling around my head
and sleeping in my car, turns out I don’t actually need a 4-5 star rating
to survive.
(D, if you’re reading this, don’t even try booking anything lower, not kidding.)
Both lessons will be handy if I am ever hiding out from zombies or monsters….
so basically it was worth it even though it wasn’t the most fun.
(putting this back on the list as a success, nailed it!)
I digress.
I am going to tackle getting a Brazilian wax today,
ya know getting the ole hoo haa plucked…..bald… .by hot molten lava wax…
Okay, there’s melted wax but it won’t be lava hot,
I think I am sure, other people have done this, surely the wax isn’t that hot.
Right?!?!?!
This activity is prime scare factor change your life shit.
Hot lava wax and having someone that isn’t my husband….
scratch that…
having ANYONE down in the vagina area looking that long
and ripping the hair from your body is the definition of bad ass!
After this I am going to be that kind of BAD ASS, the street
cred will be ridiculous….I am going to be waaayyy more
aerodynamic. This is basically going to make me a fast ninja
when I am naked. D ain’t ready for these moves, just sayin.
Signing off for this experience.
-The girl who may or may not die from having the hair ripped from her snatch.
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