I grew up on the North Side of Wichita KS. I can’t mention a street name or the exact tiny house by the river that I shared with my mom & siblings, because, well for one, there was no river, and there were a lot of tiny houses.
Sometimes home was a couch or floor of a friends or family members home. Basically, we moved a lot. I learned early on to blend in and not cause problems. Even as a small child, I knew My mom didn’t need another issue to solve as a single mother.
I graduated high school six months pregnant with one of the best things that has ever stepped into my life and changed me (I would have killed on that teen mom show.).
When I married my husband, I was four months pregnant with our second daughter (seriously I had to marry him or kill him at this point). I had just turned twenty-three when I had our third, my son, goodbye to my last new year holiday sober. I knew when I looked into my eldest child’s eyes for the first time that I would kill for her. I would do everything in my power to put my kids first. I put everything I ever wanted on the back burner, I did what I thought I a good mother should do.
I really tried to be who I thought I should be.
You know what?
Sometimes, when you’re a thirty something year old mother of three elementary/middle school kids, professional stuffer down of all the emotions and trauma, whose husband leaves for a year plus at a time for war….
you lose your shit.
You lose your shit in a way that’s so deeply trans-formative that you come out on the other end of the darkness, completely shiny and feeling brand new.
The other side of a complete breakdown looked like choice.
Choice was a freedom that I had in the palm of my hand but didn’t really know it. I discovered the power I had in choosing me through finding my self-worth. There was nothing easy about finding what my version of truth truly looked like. It has taken me the last five years to really hone in on who I truly am and cultivate a lifestyle that works for me.
Every day I practice the art of self-worth by choosing me through vulnerability, fashion, journaling, spiritual practice, self-care, and small creative projects. I aim to enjoy my every day at my fullest capacity, even when my capacity for joy is like 5%.
If you are reading this and you’re getting that sway back and forth hand up in the air AMEN to your soul feeling…
Hey girl, welcome home!
Welcome to a safe place where you can start exploring the feeling of what choosing you can even feel like. Where you can allow yourself to freely question everything and love every square space you occupy physically and mentally.
Stay a while, get super comfortable, lay your heavy should burdens down. Let’s link up arm and arm and heal and grow together.